Why I’m Okay with Not Doing It All

There was a time when I thought doing everything was just part of being a good mom. You know the script—homemade snacks for every class party, perfectly organized closets, themed birthday parties, laundry that never piles up, and still having time to work out, meal prep, and reply to texts in under 24 hours.

Spoiler alert: I don’t do all of that. And I’m not even sorry. Also—your adult child isn’t going to remember that picture-perfect 1st birthday party you pulled off (sorry, not sorry).

Somewhere between driving kids here and there, cheering from the sidelines, running a business, and trying to keep a house semi-presentable, I realized something big: I don’t have to do it all to be a good mom.

I did laundry today. Not to brag… but it’s in a new pile now.

I say no to things.

Okay… technically, I may not flat-out say no—but I do “accidentally” miss the sign-up deadline. Sometimes it’s the school fundraiser. Sometimes it’s that extra optional practice on the weekend. And sometimes it’s a family dinner I just don’t have the mental energy for.

Saying no isn’t a failure. It’s self-preservation. And it’s okay.

I don’t fold every load of laundry.

Some days I’m just proud it made it from washer to dryer—bonus points if it’s not still in there three days later. My kids know where their clothes are. It’s fine. We’re fine.

The real challenge? Figuring out what’s clean and what’s dirty after someone’s gone digging through it.

I’m not the “Pinterest Mom.”

Actually, I’m more of the Pinterest Fail Mom… and I’m totally okay with that.

If you’re the mom who nails themed cupcakes and coordinated party decor—that’s amazing. Truly. But I’m the mom who signs up to bring juice boxes because I know my limits. I’ll be there clapping, cheering, and snapping photos… but I’m not hot-gluing anything at 11 p.m.

I prioritize connection over perfection.

Most days my youngest heads off to school looking like a semi-feral child—wild hair, long underwear under shorts, and a shirt that doesn’t even pretend to match. And I let him roll with it. Why? Because he got himself dressed. That’s a win in my book.

I could’ve fought that battle, but instead, I called him a weirdo, we laughed, packed his backpack, and moved on.

That’s the kind of mom I want to be—present, not perfect.

The truth is…

It’s a lot. There are team events, school activities, random dress-up days, and extra practices—and then multiply that chaos by three.

No wonder I have no idea what’s going on most of the time.

I’m so grateful for the organized mom friends who keep me on track. You know the ones—the friend you text like, “WTF is happening this weekend?” and they laugh, fill you in, and save your butt (again).

I’ve come to realize that I’m a better mom when I’m not trying to do it all. I’m calmer. I’m more fun. I have the mental space to actually enjoy my people instead of just managing them.

And if that means store-bought cupcakes, wrinkled laundry, and a few missed sign-ups along the way… I’m 100% okay with that.

Actually, I’m more than okay—I’m proud.

I’ve developed a bit of a case of the f-it's, because honestly—what do I care more about?

Missing bedtime tuck-ins to impress the PTA? Or giggling with my two youngest at bedtime when the “spiders” come to tickle them?

(Yes, even the 12-year-old still laughs when the spiders get in his bed.)

Because the only thing I’m trying to “do it all” for…is my family.

To love them well.

To have fun with them.

To be there - even if I'm running late (like always) and the cupcakes came from Costco.

Everything else?

That can wait.